


First Time

by Echodawn22049



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom, The Last Jedi
Genre: Alternate Universe - Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Ballroom Dancing, F/M, Jealousy, Jedi Ben Solo, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Prince Ben Solo, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey, jealous Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-11 04:42:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13516803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echodawn22049/pseuds/Echodawn22049
Summary: First Reylo fanfiction I’ve written (also first fanfiction that I’ve ever posted online). Takes place in the AU of if Anakin never turned to the dark side (feel free to have a a look around the headcannons I’ve posted here (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/anakin-alterverse) to get context for this).Rey struggles with her forbidden feelings for Ben, her master. Ben however can not notice the turmoil within her as he is pulled back into the world of politics and is forced once again to adopt the persona of a prince.





	1. Dreams

Rey woke up, not for the first time, in the middle of night soaked in sweat and tangled in her sheets. She’d had the same dream again, so it didn’t surprise her to wake up once again to the cold silence of her room in the Jedi Academy, the early morning darkness still taking it’s hold.

She sighed and sat up, knowing that sleep would be impossible for the rest of the night now. It always was when she had the dream, and it was the third time this week alone that she had it. It had become more and more frequent recently. This worried her. She could keep it secret when it happened occasionally, in fact even though she knew she shouldn’t have, she actually enjoyed the dreams initially once she realised that no-one else knew so there was no harm to them. However, with them becoming more frequent the lack of sleep was surely going to have an effect on her training, and Rey didn’t feel like explaining to Ben why her performance was lacking.

Though there wasn’t much appeal to asking one of the Jedi Masters about her problem either. The dreams were too personal and she didn’t know what the consequences would be. What if the only remedy to this was to separate her from Ben? She didn’t think she could bare doing that, yet she knew there must be instances of it happening throughout the Jedi’s history, instances of padawans getting a little too attached to their masters. Attachment, what a dirty word to the Jedi. Rey leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, trying hard to keep her head blank. 

But still, she’d have to do something soon or she would collapse of exhaustion on the battlefield, and she didn’t want to be such a hindrance on the New Order or her master.

Her master. How she wished she could stop thinking about him. With her eyes closed, the images of him flowed more freely. Images from her dreams. She continued to shut her eyes as she tried to swipe away the pictures in her mind. It was what younglings were told to do when they had issues meditating, merely push away what occupies your mind and move forward to the blank space where you can then let the Force move through you freely. However, despite her best efforts, every time she swiped away an image of him, another took it’s place. It seemed that even meditation was impossible for her now. 

She sighed and stood up. She may as well start getting ready for the day ahead.

———————————————————————————————————–

Ben Solo was frustrated. He had become a Jedi to avoid tedious conversations such as this, and yet here he was listening to Lady Carise give a vigorous speech on the importance of royal family in the galaxy and how heritage should be the defining factor on our leaders. Ben wasn’t invested enough to inform her once again that as a Jedi he had abdicated all birth rights he had previously to the throne, and that there was therefore no need to call him “Prince Solo” or have this highly animated speech thrown at him. Ben was already aware when he received orders from the Council to retrieve and guard Carise that she would be like this though. She always had been from the moment they met. She was always self righteous and she seemed to have something of an attraction to him, though he didn’t pay any attention to that. She was a similar age to him and considered beautiful by many, but Ben found her incredibly dull and sycophantic and so was completely uninterested in her even when he was still royalty. He had guessed that she was only interested in him due to his title and his mother’s and grandmother’s influence anyway. He knew that he looked unconventional, he wasn’t ugly but he certainly hadn’t inherited his father’s roguish good looks or his mother’s beauty. He didn’t even look anything like his uncle, in fact he looked the opposite. Ben didn’t mind though, he was never interested in his own looks and there wasn’t any girls who had caught his eye. Besides, by the time he was old enough to start thinking about that he had started his training under Luke and it was forbidden to think about that anyway.

No, being a Jedi suited Ben Solo absolutely fine. A politician’s life just didn’t suit him as well as it did his mother, which was why he was so empathetic with his uncle who had also been raised by one. It was no coincidence that they both chose to join the Jedi Order, Ben knew it was inherited from his grandfather. The great Anakin Skywalker. Jedi master and chosen one born from the Force. Also the father of Luke and Leia Amidala, though that was a less known fact.

Ben became saddened at thinking of his grandfather, the funeral occurring just over a year ago now. Rey had barely started her training when it had happened, he was so worried of what she would think of her new master after seeing what a wreck he had been. He was worried that she would have thought him weak and asked to transfer to a new master, and Ben wouldn’t have blamed her. But she hadn’t. Instead she had supported him, stood by his side during the funeral. She even held his hand as the pyre burned. It wasn’t Jedi-like, but Ben was relieved for the comfort. Ben smiled at the memory of her small hand in his.

“and furthermore- Oh Prince Solo, have you found something I’ve said amusing? I do live to amuse” Lady Carise interjected, a schmaltzy smile twisting her features; making her look like a predator about to devour her prey. She leaned towards him, hand on his shoulder, making sure to bend forward enough to show off what limited cleavage she had. Ben averted his eyes, keeping them fixed to hers instead.

“Then please amuse me by using my correct title Lady Carise. I am a Jedi and wish to be addressed as one. I am no Prince.“

This sharpened her smile, making her predatory look a little less metaphorical. “As you wish, General Solo”.

The room’s door opened behind them, with Rey walking in and looking slightly furious. Lady Carise straightened herself and removed her hand from Ben, but the smile lingered as she regarded Rey.

“Oh how lovely. Another Jedi to escort me. Though this one is only in training correct? And her heritage as I understand it is a little less… desirable.”

Rey looked like she was about to attack the esteemed senator, which Ben considered letting her doing. Sadly that wouldn’t reflect well on himself or Rey though, and it would give Carise great satisfaction to make sure Rey was punished for the assault. No, Ben needed to diffuse the situation before it came to that. He thought on his mother’s teachings on how to deal with difficult Senators.

“Ah, Lady Carise, surely you remember my padawan Rey? Mind you, she has had a considerable amount of training from when you last saw her. Her abilities have increased dramatically“

This seemed to ease Rey down, whose attention was now drawn to him now, her face not concealing the gratitude for him handling Carise rather than her. Ben knew she immensely disliked her, which Ben couldn’t blame her for, though that would have to be handled. Jedi couldn’t be seen as wanting to throw senators out of the window. Luckily, Carise couldn’t resist once again being distracted by Ben.

“Oh really? No doubt due to your excellent teachings, your Highness.“ She said sweetly, threading her arm onto Ben’s and sauntering towards the door, pulling him behind her.

Rey followed behind, teeth gritted. 

Yep, she definitely wanted the senator dead.


	2. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey struggles with her forbidden feelings for Ben, her master. Ben however can not notice the turmoil within her as he is pulled back into the world of politics and is forced once again to adopt the persona of a prince.

Lady Carise stood before the Jedi Council, head held high as they addressed her, her permanent all-knowing smirk still in place even though she was in the presence of the most powerful Jedi left in existence. 

Maybe that was part of the reason Rey despised her. How could she show no respect to any other than royalty? How did the deeds of these masters have no affect on her?

Though admittedly that wasn’t the entire reason for Rey’s hatred. She had been angered when she heard that it was Ben who had been sent to retrieve Carise, and her fears had been realised when she was then sent to find both of them when it had taken too long. Seeing her leaning into Ben, his eyes fixed on hers…

No. This was wrong. She couldn’t afford to think of him like this, to feel jealousy… If the Jedi sensed it her secret would be for nothing and they would reassign her, or worse expel her from the Order. What would she do if she wasn’t a Jedi? She was nothing without it, she had no value to the New Order. She would lose everything. It would have been like she never left Jakku.

So Rey tried to keep her thoughts and feelings quiet as she stood to the side with Ben, onlooking the briefing. It seemed the Council were trying to convince Carise to partake on an reconnaissance mission on a planet located in the Inner Rim, which was risky as it was a planet with Empire influence. However, Carise had connections with the Banking Clan who were hosting a funding gala there and it was thought that powerful members of the Empire would be present. It was a good opportunity to try and seek intel on the Empire’s upcoming plots. It had become a Jedi matter however, as they were needed to provide security to the Senator attending the gala. Rumours were circulating that a Sith Lord might be present in the area to make sure the evening ran smoothly and to catch insubordinates. 

“It seems you have dire need of me Jedi.” Carise soothed, lavishing the words. How she loved being needed, to have others come crawling to her. Rey felt sick looking at her. “Though unfortunately, I am far too busy to take part in your little escapade, as much as I do love parties.” she smiled sweetly as she said this, tilting her head slightly to show her sincerity “Especially with the upcoming election”.

The New Order would be electing their new leader soon, which Rey had forgotten about in her recent episodes of restlessness. She never did have the aptitude for politics anyway. The current leader, Padme Amidala, had retired due to illness in her old age. Rey hoped her daughter would be her successor. It was ridiculous for Carise to think she even had a chance, though Rey always did link Carise with ridiculousness.

“Lady Carise, surely you see the importance of this mission? It was commissioned by Senator Amidala herself, and will give the New Order a much needed advantage.” It was Ahsoka Tano who spoke, a representative of the leaders of the New Order. She spoke swiftly, and despite her age her voice still portrayed her strength and conviction. Rey smiled. She had always been fond of her. Ahsoka Tano, general at 14 years old and padawan to the chosen one, Anakin Skywalker. Now Ahsoka was adviser to the leaders of the New Order and one of Padme Amidala’s closest confidants. Even Carise recognised her importance, even if she wasn’t royalty.

“Of course, I mean no disrespect. I was just wondering, with this being such a prudent time for me within the New Order, why another Senator will not be more suitable?” Carise asked, though this was just her attempt of making the Council tell her what made her special; what made her different to the rest of the senate. She wanted them to beg for her.

“We found your connections with the Banking Clan of use. With your prior knowledge, we hoped you could make the mission more seamless. However, as you are unavailable we shall find another senator to attend in your place.”

Carise did not like this. The pretty smile she’d been holding slipped for a second, like a mask falling to show the horror beneath. Carise Sindian did not like someone telling her she was replaceable. “Someone else? With the election so close, who do you hope to find?”

“I will put myself forward for this mission if the Council is in need.”

Rey turned to her master along with everyone else in the room. He famously hated being royalty and anything to do with politics, so Ben Solo would be the last person you’d expect volunteering for this mission, and yet he didn’t retract his words. When there was no immediate opposition he continued “I have prior experience of events similar to this, and a Jedi is required for this mission anyway”.

Carise seemed to have recovered from this shock and was now scrambling to gain back her necessity, blurting “And what about your apprentice? Surely you can’t halt her training for this mission?”

Ben turned to Rey, who was in disbelief as to what was happening. “She can accompany me and gain valuable field experience. It’s common for senators to bring escorts to this event, so we wouldn’t look suspicious.” he said evenly, rationale ringing in his words.

Rey couldn’t quite see the same rationality he could though. As a scavenger, she had no idea how to act in a gala ball, never mind attend one under a guise. Though the idea was tempting her now; her and Ben attending a ball alone together. She considered slapping herself. Not only was that thought non Jedi-like, but it was foolish as well. This mission was important to the New Order, she couldn’t afford to act like a love-struck child.

“Very well, it’s decided then” Ahsoka said, rising from her chair and already making her way towards the exit. “General Solo and his apprentice will attend to this mission. Senator Amidala will be so glad.”


	3. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t know if anyone still reads this but I’m enjoying writing it. I wanted to write more from Ben’s perspective since the last chapter was all Rey, but this turned into a very Rey dominated chapter. Ah well. Also wanted to include some stormpilot into this as that’s another ship from the new trilogy that I’m fond of.
> 
> Rey struggles with her forbidden feelings for Ben, her master. Ben however can not notice the turmoil within her as he is pulled back into the world of politics and is forced once again to adopt the persona of a prince.

“What was I thinking?“ was the main thought Ben Solo had as he pulled on his black ceremonial robes. He had to acquire them earlier that day, with a droid buzzing around him to get his measurements. His old robes no longer fit, which wasn’t surprising. 

How long ago was it since he last had to wear anything like this? Ten, fifteen years? No, longer. He was twelve years old when he joined the Jedi Order. Ben looked at himself in the mirror. They were black like his usual robes, though the material was thicker and heavier and embroidered with an intricate silver pattern. The assistant droid had tried to tame his mess of black hair which he usually left ignored, pulling through it to look somewhat respectable. Yes, he looked like a Prince, he could pass for his mother’s son again.

Why had he chosen to do this? Hadn’t he chosen the Jedi Order to avoid this?

He wasn’t quite sure why he volunteered now, but he remembered feeling strong about it back in the Jedi council’s chamber. Was it merely to wipe the smug expression of Carise’s face? Surely not. This wouldn’t have been worth it, even if it did undoubtedly put Rey in a better mood. He had felt the anger rising within her during the whole encounter, which he knew he had to quell before there was an outburst. But there must have been other ways to accomplish that without agreeing to do this…

Was it due to some sense of duty to the Order to assist them when they had need? He didn’t think so, he knew there were plenty of other options the council could have chosen for this mission, so why had he put himself forward?

His comm buzzed, Rey’s voice coming through over slight static “Master, I’m currently at the hangar. We’re meant to be departing in five minutes.”

He hastily picked up the comm “I’m heading down now.”

He slipped his lightsaber into the folds of fabric at his side so that it was concealed and with one final look in the mirror departed for the hangar.

———————————————————————————————————- 

Rey felt ridiculous standing in the packed hangar in a full ballgown dress. Pilots in crumpled, grease covered overalls bustled about her with purpose, while she stood in the middle of it all in a floor length silk gown which flowed from hues of gold to pink. It was a beautiful dress, no mistaking that, it was definitely the most indulgent piece of clothing Rey had ever worn. But it was way too extravagant for her current settings, and it definitely wasn’t something she would have chosen to wear. It was a little too revealing for her usual tastes, with the gown dipping at the back to the base of her spine, and when she had looked in the mirror she couldn’t recognise herself, which when she considered now was a good thing since she was meant to be in disguise at the gala . Handmaidens had accompanied the dress when it had arrived at her modest bed chambers, insisting that they assist her with changing. She had allowed them, not able to put up too much of a fight after another restless night, and they had swarmed her giggling and gossiping as they pulled her hair into elaborate braids and layered her face with make up.

Now she wished she had been more forceful in turning turning them away as her new look was getting stares from the people around her. She wished she could go inside the ship but Ben had told her to wait outside for him. She addressed her comm to hurry him up, interrupted when one of the pilots whistled at her as he walked past, stopping briefly to take her in, his BB unit making irritated beeping noises. According to the droid they were already late. Luckily Rey recognised him as Poe Dameron, a pilot who had a complicated relationship with her friend Finn. Otherwise she would have used some choice phrases which would have strongly contrasted the ladylike persona she was trying to don tonight. He gave the droid a shrug before regarding Rey “You look dolled up. Have a fancy date too?”

“No, official Jedi business. What do you mean ‘too’?”

“Official Jedi business eh? With Ben?” his eyes gained a glint which looked like his usual flyboy mischief.

“Yes, with Ben. You didn’t answer my question” Rey didn’t feel like having the same conversation with Poe again. He seemed to think there was something more to her and Ben’s relationship, which was ridiculous. Her dreams didn’t count, they were just fantasies. Powerful one’s maybe, but fake all the same.He didn’t have the right to make assumptions about her relationship anyway, considering the turmoil that was his relationship with Finn. For over a year now the two had been in a constant state of flirtation, which even Rey who had no romantic experience could recognise. Recently though Finn had begun courting a young engineer called Rose, which had sent Poe on a frenzy of flings in retaliation. 

“If you must know, I am having dinner with a very handsome Twi’lek who was impressed with my flying on the battlefield”

“Really?” replied Rey sardonically, cocking an eyebrow in disbelief. “What does Finn think of your little date?”

His smile simpered slightly at this. “Finn? He was happy for me. At least, that’s the impression I got from the brief encounter we had. I haven’t been able to see him that much lately, he’s been spending a lot of time with that engine girl- Rouge I think her name was?”

“You mean Rose?” 

“Yeah…Rose.”

BB8 was making some very rude remarks now, obviously stressed with how late they were. Poe gave the droid a strained look. “Okay, okay, let’s get going.” He turned back to Rey, his usual smirking grin back in place. “Good luck with your mission Rey. Say hello to Ben for me.” He darted off into the crowd before Rey could say her own good bye.

It seemed that Rey was having a very unfortunate week, ‘cause no sooner had Poe disappeared than Lady Carise had emerged from the crowd in a sparkling blue gown, peering around shrewdly. Rey did not have the amount of sleep and patience needed to deal with her today, though Carise didn’t seem to recognise this as she sauntered her way towards her.

“Lady Carise, were you not aware from yesterday’s meeting that your presence was not needed for this mission?” 

Carise ignored this, casting her own caustic comment “My my, don’t you look the part? You look every bit the desert sex slave you were destined to be in those rags.”

Rey boiled with anger, opening her mouth to make her retort, only to have her words overlapped by a male voice.

“Do you really think so Lady Carise? My grandmother will be very interested to know what you think of her dress. It was one of her favourites apparently”

Ben strode into the hangar purposefully, his black robes swirling at his feet. Rey felt slightly awestruck as she gazed at him. In those robes he looked the part of a prince. She wondered what he thought of her attire, hoping that she didn’t actually look as ridiculous as she felt. He cast his eyes down her as he stopped to face her and Carise, mouth slightly ajar as if he was about to speak. There was slight colour in his usually pale face. Rey started to feel her own cheeks flush with heat as he continued to stare at her. She was suddenly very thankful for the thick layers of make up which concealed her blush.

Cairse broke the silence, craving Ben’s attention once again and concerned about insulting the former Queen of Naboo “I retract my remarks. They were tactless and unfitting of me, I apologise”

It was only to acknowledge this that Ben pulled away from Rey to address Carise, who seemed unaware that it was Rey who held his attention “Lady Carise, surely you have preparations you should be attending to? The election is in little under a month now, I’m sure you’re sorely needed in the senate.”

Carise looked from Ben to Rey and back again. She seemed upset that she was dismissed so quickly, though there was little she could do since it was the election that she herself used as her own excuse to get out of the mission. “As you wish, your highness. I had merely come down here to wish you luck in your mission.” With this she strolled past Ben towards the exit, but not before fleetingly kissing him on the cheek.

Rey felt a strangled pain in her chest. Maybe there was more to Ben’s and Carise’s relationship than she feared.


	4. Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Focused more on Ben this chapter, there's a little more angst as well. Hope everyone still reading this enjoys! Thank you for those who have been leaving comments :)
> 
> Rey struggles with her forbidden feelings for Ben, her master. Ben however can not notice the turmoil within her as he is pulled back into the world of politics and is forced once again to adopt the persona of a prince.

Ben sat with his hands on the wheel, eyes fixed forward, despite the fact that the craft was now in autopilot while they were in hyperspace. He tightened and un-tightened his grip as silence filled the cockpit. Besides him was Rey, though he was trying his best to ignore her. He didn’t know what he was expecting when he arrived in the hangar, but Rey in his grandmother’s old courting dress with her hair in  
Alderaanian braids which conveyed the same message was not it. He didn’t know why he was so surprised, he himself had told the Council that she would be acting as his escort, and that meant that she had to look the part of a courtier to a prince.  
But had she always looked like that? Her hazel eyes had burned fierce, reflecting the lights of the hangar making them glow. Her skin was radiant against the fabrics of her dress; her back exposed to reveal her sun-kissed skin and toned muscles. He had almost instinctively wanted to run his hands down her spine and tangle his fingers in her hair. He had looked at her lips as she stood across from him with her mouth parted. He wanted to cross the space between them then and meet her unabashedly.  
Of course she had always looked like that. It’s just now it was harder to ignore. Had he always been ignoring it then? From the moment they met? He thought back on how they met, with her kneeling in the centre of the Council’s meeting room, her clothes loose fitting and grubby. To anyone else she would have looked like a scavenger and nothing more.  
But that wasn’t how he saw her. He could feel her presence as he entered the room, could feel her unrest similar to his but at the same time completely different. He could feel the light in her but felt her pull to the dark at the same time, to forbidden knowledge and belonging. She was lonely and Ben could resonate with her. And then she was all he could feel, the room peeled away so it was her and only her knelt in front of him, the room missing from his vision.  
He had thought that he was feeling merely how Master’s felt when they had connected with their apprentice, was he wrong?  
Was this the real reason?  
He felt sick. How could he have been blind for so long?  
He tried to glance at her from the corner of his eye. Her heeled foot tapped impatiently against the ships console as she chewed her lip as she always did when lost in thought or in anger. Ben wondered which one it was.  
When had he noticed these things about her? He must have always been doing it subconsciously, but acknowledging it now caused pangs in his chest.  
_You’re being a fool_ He told himself. _Just because you’ve finally accepted your feelings for her doesn’t mean she’ll reciprocate them. Jedi are not to feel attachment, shouldn’t you as a more experienced member be trying to uphold the code?_  
_Like my grandfather and uncle before me_ He added caustically. The Skywalker family line was not notorious for being the strictest of Jedi, the fact there was even a Skywalker line was testament to that. It wasn’t as if Ben had been a model accolade of the Jedi prior to this self revelation; he was not afraid of using the dark side of the force and although he had read all the Jedi texts vigorously, it was more for his own enjoyment rather than something which he incorporated into his every thought and action. He understood that the Jedi was flawed, he was prepared to bend their rules and risk expulsion.  
Was Rey though? She was his padawan and had come to him for his guidance and teachings, could he abuse his authority over her? _That’s even if she reciprocates how you feel. She’s good friends with Poe remember? Why would she choose you over him? Even your own parents preferred him._  
_Enough_  
He needed to regain his composure. He couldn’t let his feelings harm Rey or the mission currently at hand.  
He heard a slight cough to the side of him as Rey cleared her throat “So how long have you been interested in Carise?”  
Ben turned to her for the first time in the flight, the statement so ridiculous that it demanded his attention, even if the sight of her made him hurt again. “What did you just say?”  
“It’s just, as I’m sure you know Master, it is against the Code to have any attachment.” Her arms were still crossed as she looked out the window, appearing disinterested in her own words and the accusations behind them.  
_Well if she’s going to act ridiculous so am I_  
“Oh really? And what about that pilot, Poe Dameron?”  
Now it was Rey’s turn to look incredulous as she glared at him “What about Poe?”  
Ben nearly stammered with her eyes now fixed on him again. He needed to get control of himself. “Well you’re constantly around him and that stormtrooper friend of yours, I naturally assumed maybe there was some interest there. Not acted upon of course, as you have preached at me already, that is against the Code. It is of course natural to have those feelings, though you should know better than to let them take precedence over your training”  
Rey’s faced burned red as she glared at him “ _I_ was not letting Poe Dameron kiss me in public in front of my Padawan whom I am meant to be setting an example to”  
Ben stared at her as it clicked into place. She was upset that Carise had kissed him on the cheek. Why though? Did she honestly think that alluded to a relationship? That he had broken his vows to The Order for _Carise?_ He had forgotten the kiss had even happened, he was so captivated by Rey. And now she was acting like an idiot. Something was bugging Ben though.  
“In public? So does that mean Poe has...in private...”  
Rey’s eyes widened and her tone was harsh “Of course not, Poe is ga-” Her words were cut short as she was jostled forward abruptly.  
They had arrived at their destination.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Rey had never seen a planet like this. It was as if the actual surface was plated in gold, though as Ben flew them into the planet’s atmosphere this turned out to be giant palaces which glinted against the many dazzling lights. It was a spectacular view, one Rey was sure Finn would have appreciated. Thinking of him brought her to think of her and Ben’s conversation before the interruption. What had that even been about? Yes, maybe she instigated it, but that was because she actually had good cause for her accusations, and he had been acting oddly toward her ever since the hangar. She had assumed it was because he thought that his secret was now out with Carise and that he was now scared that Rey would inform the Jedi Council. Why else would he refuse to look at her the entire flight? She could feel unease in him through the force and there was anxiety in the way he gripped the controls of the ship, something she hadn’t seen before.  
But then he had looked so confounded when she actually brought up Carise, like she was being ridiculous to even consider the idea. And where did his accusations from? _Poe Dameron?_ Where did Ben get that idea from?  
And calling Finn ‘Stormtrooper’... Ben hadn’t called him that for months. Not in that tone, anyway.  
She started biting her lip again as Ben brought the ship down towards what had to be the largest of the palaces, towering above those that surrounded it. As he slowed the shuttle to a stop, Ben stood up and walked towards the exit of the ship, the door already opening to reveal the loud murmurs of those outside. It appeared that they had been expected and a welcome party had been sent to retrieve them. Ben stood before the door in silence, appearing to be waiting for Rey to join him before making his descent. Rey stood up, smoothing her dress and catching her appearance in the reflection of the ship walls. She now looked a lot more flustered than she had when entering the ship, but could still pass as a Prince’s escort to those not paying close attention.  
Ben turned to her as she approached and offered his arm, still in silence, though at least he was looking at her now. Rey took it tentatively, feeling his muscles tense underneath the fabric. Was he repulsed by her very touch now? Had she been too forward in her questions? Would he even still want her as his Padawan?  
She opened her mouth to speak but Ben raised his hand as if to swipe her words away before they were even spoken. “We’ll finish our... discussion later. Tonight, we focus on the mission, agreed?”  
Rey tried to interpret his tone. He didn’t sound angry, but there was something strained in his voice now.  
“Yes, Master” she replied, inclining her head.  
He nodded his head back, as if that confirmed the conversation over and started walking back toward the door, Rey pulled along beside him.  
Rey still stalled just before they reached it though, pulling his arm so that he would turn toward her. She was very aware of how close he was to her then, their faces barely centimetres apart. She needed to focus though, this was important to the mission. “Ben, I still don’t know how I should be acting. This is a ball correct? Does that mean I need to know how to dance?”  
Ben looked down at her and smiled. “Just follow me and you’ll do fine”


	5. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pacing's a bit off with this and I'm not quite happy with how it turned out, but I hope you enjoy it. As always, comments are extremely appreciated, thank you everyone who has been following this!
> 
> Ben and Rey share a dance which leads to revelations.

The hall was already crowded when they arrived, though their entrance caused a distinct shift in volume as many people hushed and hurried out the way of Ben and Rey as they strode through. It seemed many people were excited to see the Prince who hadn’t been seen for nearly two decades now, as excited murmurs converged throughout the crowds. Even if his family were known leaders in and intergalactic war, people still liked the scandal of a missing prince suddenly appearing with a mysterious woman as his escort. It had been what Ben had hoped; they needed this speculation for the mission to run smoothly. He needed to play into his role as much as Rey needed to play into hers.  
Instruments played in the distance as couples in the centre of the room danced to the last few notes before the song came to an end. What would a prince, the son of a princess and a smuggler, do in this situation to blend into the environment? He had an idea; one Rey wouldn’t appreciate considering her previous upheavals when exiting the ship.  
Ben pulled Rey behind him towards the dance floor before turning to her, head bowed and hand outstretched. “May I have this dance?”  
Fear flickered in her eyes, but only for a moment. Her eyes held his and he could feel her resolve.  
“Of course, your Highness.” She spoke clearly and without hesitation, though Ben could feel her slight tremble as she took his hand.  
He held it high while curving his arm to place his other hand on her lower back tentatively, her skin smooth under his touch. She stepped closer to him, her hand resting on his chest with his shoulder being too high. Could he even remember how to do this? Would he even still be competent?  
The first few notes rang through the hall as the dance begun. He had always hated this even as a child, though he hadn’t been dancing with Rey back then. He could admit that she definitely made this more enjoyable. Her steps were measured as she went through the motions like she would her forms when they trained, dipping and swaying only slightly out of time with the music, though to Ben she looked perfect as he guided her.  
As he continued to look at her he couldn’t stop thinking about their earlier conversation. Even though she looked serene to any onlooker, Ben could feel her through the force, feel her unrest and anger. Why was she so upset with him? There had to be a reason behind all that anger... But then he hadn’t reacted as he should have either. Was it the same for her and it was for him?  
“I think I understand why you thought that I had a relationship with Carise”  
She looked up at him. “I thought we weren’t discussing this until after the mission?”  
“I can’t stop thinking about it”  
“Me neither” she admitted, looking past his shoulder  
“I know she flirts with me Rey. I’m not blind. I’m assuming you thought the kiss she gave me on the hangar proved any suspicions you had. How you could think that I would ever reciprocate her advances is beyond me though. And I still don’t understand why it got you so upset. Originally I thought you were only angry because I had broken the code and because you hated Carise. But it’s not just that, is it?”  
Rey continued to look past him, silent. He couldn’t quite read her expression, which was odd for him. Normally he could gauge her emotions well. Yet for some unknown reason, she was keeping her feelings hidden from him now. And then she spoke.  
“I have two questions for you. One as my Master and one as Ben Solo”  
He looked at her curiously. “There’s a difference?”  
“Yes. One is a representative of the Jedi Order; the other is what you are without it”  
Ben still didn’t quite understand what she was saying, but now she had him intrigued. “Okay. Which one are you asking first?”  
“I think you can figure it out”  
The music changed tempo slightly as Ben lifted Rey into the air as they turned.  
“Do you know how common it is for Jedi to feel attachment to others?”  
That...wasn’t what he was expecting her to ask. He thought of his family and the other Jedi who had surrounded him in the Order.  
“Very. Especially if they knew their families prior to joining.”  
She nodded slowly, still not meeting his gaze. “What about romantically?”  
“Is this because of feelings you have?”  
“That’s not what I asked.”  
Ben thought of his grandfather and uncle and their own master. All of them had. And now he did.  
“I don’t know how many, it’s not something spread publically. You know it leads to expulsion if it’s acted upon. But yes, there are many who harbour feelings of that kind. It’s rarer for these to lead anywhere though. I know a few who have managed it though”  
“Anakin Skywalker” She said, not as a question. It didn’t surprise Ben that she knew; she was present at his funeral. She could see how his family mourned for him, the grief they all bore openly. It was perhaps the only moment when they could openly love him.  
“Yes. Among others”  
“He loved a senator though. Is there cases of a Jedi loving another in the Order?”  
Ben fought the urge the laugh. He’d only just realised that he did and already Rey wanted to know of his existence. But he deduced what she actually meant, and it hurt. He had only just begun loving her and she was already in love with another in the Order.  
“You love another Jedi. Who?”  
She pulled away from him to look again at his face, her eyes searching his. “That is for Ben Solo to know.”  
The instruments were playing low, long notes as the song reached its conclusion. Ben and Rey stood still as couples around them also stopped, but neither of them could see anything in their surroundings. Ben continued to hold Rey close despite others already departing the dance floor or swapping partners. His mouth was dry as she continued to just look up at him.  
“Rey, what is your second question?”

 

And then she kissed him.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Rey hadn’t planned on kissing Ben, but she hadn’t expected his questions either. It was obviously his fault that this had happened. Where else did he expect it to go?  
But he wasn’t the one kissing her.  
Her lips were slow and gentle on his, though she was struggling to reach his at all. Why was he so damn tall? She stood on her toes, which was difficult in the shoes she was wearing, her eyes closed as she waited for him to kiss her back.  
But he never did. He had gone stone still. Rey pulled back looking at him. His face was blank except looking slightly flushed.  
She’d made a mistake.  
“I’m sorry...I...I’m sorry” she stammered, running from the dance floor and into the crowd, half expecting Ben to follow her. When he didn’t, she could only feel partly disappointed as she escaped through one of the doors into the many twisting corridors. She didn’t know where she was going; only that she had to get away fast. What was she even running from? The damage had already been done; there was no getting away from that. She would be transferred when she got back, or expelled completely from the Order. That’s even if she was taken back, maybe Ben would just leave her here.  
Her legs caught on the hem of her dress causing her to fall on her knees, a sob erupting from her as she shook on the floor. What could she do now? Everything hurt.  
She pulled her knees into her chest, crying into the skirt of her dress. _Of his grandmother’s dress._ Her sobs now muffled, the silence of the corridor filled the air. Except it wasn’t silence. Across from her was a door where she could hear two hushed voices arguing hurriedly. Rey stood up and crept towards it, her ear to the door. She was here on a reconnaissance mission after all, even if she failed in her duty as a Padawan she still could carry out her duty as a member of the New Order. She brought the recording device that was strapped to her thigh next to her lightsaber up to the door.  
“-and what was she thinking? Sending Leia Amidala’s son here... the grandson of the current chancellor! Does she want them to succeed? She’s meant to be acting as our double agent, what if she betrays us?”  
“Do not doubt her. She is one of our biggest beneficiaries, both financially and for information. Without her much of what we’ve done recently wouldn’t have been possible. Besides, she says she’s working on the boy, that he might be a powerful ally yet. Everyone knows the emperor wants him.”  
“If she’s got him round her finger, why isn’t she here instead of that girl?”  
“Complications she said. Apparently Ahsoka Tano assigned them the mission herself, I’m not certain though... personally I think she fancies herself chancellor and wants to make a proper run of it with it being so close.”  
“Ha, imagine that! Supreme Chancellor Carise Sindian...”  
Rey stalled, holding her breath.  
Carise was an Informant.  
She backed away from the door and crept back through the corridor in the direction of the main gala room. She needed to tell Ben what she heard so that the council could be advised. Once she was out of earshot she started to run back round the bends and twists. Had there been so many on the way here? She stopped at a corridor that divided into four. _What now then?_  
She closed her eyes and held her hand out, trying to calm her emotions and let the force flow through her. The east lead to the staircase where there was a pair of Nicktos furiously haggling. The west lead to a dead end. And to the north-  
“Ben” Rey gasped, running again, this time with certainty, towards him.  
It wasn’t long before she was turning a corner and crashing into him. “Ben! I-” She didn’t have time to finish before Ben was pulling her in the direction she came.  
“Rey, run”  
She turned back to where he had come to see the red glow of a lightsaber come round the corner.


	6. Conclusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! Ben and Rey are chased by a Sith who shares a history with Ben. Rey and Ben finally confront their feelings for each other.

Ben didn’t think this was how his night would be spent, though he supposed by now he should have expected it. Most of his and Rey’s missions ended like this.  
But they had never encountered _him_.  
He hastily pulled Rey round another corner, hoping to falter the Sith who followed them. _So he’s only a Sith to you now..._  
He didn’t have time to muse on this; that could be done later when Rey was safe. Did she even know why they were running away? It wasn’t like they weren’t expecting a Sith Lord; it was the entire reason this mission had come to the attention of the Jedi. She was probably confused why they weren’t fighting back now.  
But Ben hadn’t expected _him_. Was it even who he thought? After all these years there had been nothing... But Ben was certain. He couldn’t forget the face of his own family, even if it had been warped by the dark side.  
They still hadn’t found an exit and Rey was slipping on her dress, each tumble bringing the Sith closer to them. The next corner brought them into a corridor lined with floor to ceiling windows. Even through the dark Ben could see an orchard of golden leafed trees which led into what he assumed to be a forest of some kind. Without pausing, Ben ran toward the closest window, willing the force to shatter the glass as he shouldered through it. Rey gasped behind him but he couldn’t afford to look back, not until they had found cover and had escaped their pursuer.  
They ran through amber trees, the undergrowth snagging at his robes. He had to practically lift Rey into the air due to how much she was struggling, her attire definitely not suited to a pursuit through the woods, especially when the ground started to become mossy and damp with thick mud the deeper they went in, though surprisingly the trees were becoming more sparse. _So much for finding cover here..._  
Up ahead the trees cleared, and Ben realised that there was a thunderous noise which now came through over the adrenaline. As they reached the clearing he saw what it was; it appeared that the massive golden city had been perched on top of a cliff, with him and Rey now near the edge of it, a waterfall pounding below them as a river to the left of them flooded into it. Rey pulled behind to halt him before he got too close to the edge, causing him to turn to her. She had not fared well, with her dress torn and muddied and blood seeping into her eyes from a cut on her forehead.  
Their pursuer stopped also, gazing at them with yellow eyes which were once blue. A callous smile broke across his face.  
“It’s good to meet you again, Ben Solo” he sneered.  
“Darth Caedus I presume?”  
He’d heard rumours, but the truth of them had been far more worse than he originally feared. The Sith Lord’s smile grew wider.  
“It appears my reputation exceeds me” his gaze drifted lazily to Rey. “And who is this? Are you now doing the Master’s work? Training new soldiers?”  
Ben glanced at her, standing tall despite being covered in grime and swaying slightly to one side, her ankle very obviously broken. Despite it all, she still looked at beautiful as she did at the start of the night.  
“...Or is there something else?” Ben looked back startled as Caedus’s smile grew wider still. “Jedi,” he spat, “always the biggest hypocrites in the galaxy. My father was proof of that, and it seems you are as well. I’d hoped I could convince you to join me... but I don’t think you’re even worthy of asking.” He ignited his lightsaber, the faint hum barely audible over the crashing water, with Ben igniting his in retaliation with Rey beside him doing the same despite the fact that she was now practically leaning on him.  
_Rey_ he reached out, trying to hide his true thoughts from Caedus.  
_We cannot fight him. You’re too injured and I’m too weak_  
She looked at him curiously but a sharp look back silenced any questions she was about to ask. He would answer anything she wanted after she was safe; that was his first priority though.  
_We can’t keep running though_ she replied in earnest, Ben feeling her pain and weariness through the Force.  
_That’s not exactly what I was thinking_ he glanced towards the edge of the cliff and back to her, which she understood immediately.  
_Ben I can’t swim, and that’s even if we survive the fall_  
_I’ll keep you safe, trust me_ he sent towards her, trying to catch her eye. She nodded slightly, the movement negligible enough to not be noticed by Caedus as he started to stalk towards them, poised for battle.  
_Now_  
Synchronised, Rey pushed herself into Ben’s chest as he put his arms around her, pulling her tightly to him. With Rey’s back to the cliff, Ben teetered them over the edge before they jumped, making their long descent.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Rey awoke it was still dark, though the crackle of a fire lit her view dimly. She appeared to be in some sort of cave, the stone walls glistening with damp. She sat up, the cloak that had been wrapped around her slipping slightly; exposing her arms to the cold and causing her to shiver and pull it back over her shoulders, making her extremely grateful for the fire that she now huddled closer to.  
“Awake finally then?”  
She looked up to find Ben sat across from her, legs pulled up to his chest as his hands flickered across the fire, keeping the flame low. His skin was pale and his hair and clothes were soaked, his hair spooling into his eyes. He looked freezing, yet Rey realised that it was his cloak that she was currently clutching around her.  
“What happened?” she said, her voice groggy and thick. She realised her throat was incredibly sore and raspy.  
“You passed out when we hit the water. Swallowed quite a bit of it as well but I think I got you to cough most of it up” he replied, eyes fixed on her. Normally this would have made Rey flustered, especially with them both this exposed, her dress now in ruined tatters.  
She looked down at her once beautiful gown. “I think your grandmother’s dress is ruined”  
He chuckled, breaking his expression. “Is that really what you’re worried about first?”  
Seeing him smile returned the flustered feeling that now usually accompanied seeing him this close, flushing her cheeks and warming her skin. She looked into the fire instead while she talked. “No. But I don’t know if you’re willing to answer the questions I have”  
“I can try.”  
Rey looked back at him. “Who was that Ben? Why did you refuse to fight him?”  
The joy drained out of his face. “You mentioned earlier about Jedi falling love...” Rey’s face burned. Was he really bringing this up? She guessed they couldn’t just keep avoiding the topic, but she had hoped to be wrong.  
Ben’s eyes widened as he realised her embarrassment. “N-no- I wasn’t referring to _that_. I meant when you mentioned my grandfather, Anakin. He’s not the only Jedi in the family to have children.”  
Rey leaned forward intrigued, staring intently at him.  
He took a deep breath and sighed before continuing. “My uncle, Luke, fell in love with an assassin sent by the Emperor to kill him many years ago, shortly after I was born. She was force sensitive, so he hoped that he could convert her to the light and train her as a Jedi. She came to love him back and agreed, but not before travelling the galaxy together, which is why he was away from the academy in the first place, to investigate. Unfortunately, by the time they returned she had become pregnant with twins, Jaina and Jacen. She was obviously turned away from the academy, and my uncle cut off ties with her and their children so that he wouldn’t be expulsed.”  
Rey felt disgusted. She hated her parents for abandoning her, for stripping her of any family she could possibly have, and yet here was Ben divulging that his own uncle had done the same. “What happened to his children? Did you ever meet them?”  
“I’ve met them both a few times, Jaina more than Jacen. Jacen always drifted towards the dark... I know it’s ironic coming from me,” he added shooting Rey a humorous glance before she could say anything, “but it was like he wasn’t conflicted, like he always _wanted_ to embrace it. And it appears now he finally has...” his words drifted off into silence and his eyes glazed.  
“That’s why you didn’t attack the Sith on the waterfall... he was your cousin?” Rey pressed on gently.  
He nodded solemnly. “It’s a shame as well,” he said glancing away with a smile “it seems my family’s issues have once again put a hinder on the New Order. There was so much potential tonight for new intel, but because of my incompetence we learnt _nothing_. Darth Cadeus’ identity isn’t even worth anything, I can’t say anything without exposing Luke...”  
“Carise!” Rey blurted, remembering her accidental espionage, the excitement of her revelation rushing back to her.  
Ben jumped slightly at her outburst, obviously startled at the sudden change in topic. “Carise? Why are you bringing her up?”  
“After I-”she paused, memories of their kiss flooding to her. She decidedly did not want to acknowledge that happened. “-I left the ballroom, I ended up overhearing a conversation. They said Carise was the one who was meant to attend tonight with you, not me; that she’s acting as a double agent.”  
When Ben continued to look unconvinced, she removed the recording device that was still strapped to her thigh, showing it to him “I recorded the whole conversation on here; if it survived the fall, that is.”  
He took it off her, his hand briefly glancing hers, and clicked it to see the light still blink on. “You know you’re incredible, right?” he said, awe tingeing his voice.  
“I wish you thought that earlier...” she said, instantly regretting it. After everything he had told her, he definitely was not in the right place to talk about this. And didn’t she literally want to avoid this conversation herself just moments ago? He had surprised her though; she did not expect him to compliment her. She was frustrated by him; she had no idea what he wanted from her.  
“I think that’s hardly fair- you didn’t give me a chance to answer”  
“Excuse me?”  
“You said it was a question when we were dancing. That means it needs an answer. I wasn’t prepared then, but I am now.”  
“I’m not an idiot Ben, you’ve already made your feelings apparent. I know how you feel.”  
He leaned forward so his face was nearly touching hers. “Do you?”  
He stayed there watching her, waiting for her to respond. She sucked in a breath of air as she noticed his eyes wandering down to her lips. “Answer me then.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
As the sun finally rose and daylight trickled into the cave, Ben Solo felt like the happiest man in the galaxy. Rey lay on top of him, her head rising and falling with his chest as he breathed, both of them lying awake, happy in each other’s company. He didn’t want this moment to end.  
Thoughts of the night whirled in his mind, of his lips on hers, of his hands on her skin, of how pliant she was under his touch, how she leaned into his every movement. Of how she looked when she had dropped her dress to the ground.  
He hadn’t expected for so much to happen, but he couldn’t say that he regretted it. Rey however seemed to be conflicted, with Ben feeling all her doubts through the force.  
He felt her trying to probe his mind.  
“You know you can just ask me what I’m thinking, right?”  
She tensed, obviously embarrassed at being caught.  
“You know, you should really get a new master. Maybe then you won’t be so clumsy with the Force.”  
She laughed “Yeah, I think you might be right. My current one isn’t up to scratch.”  
He jabbed her ribs playfully causing her to squirm against him and laugh harder, his laughs joining hers.  
“So, are you going to ask?” he spoke softly into her hair.  
“How could I know if you were telling me the truth?” she replied, her voice still full of humour though there was still an underlying tinge of doubt.  
“When have I ever lied to you Rey?”  
She sighed slightly. “True. Okay then, what are you thinking about right now?”  
“Last night. What happened between us. You.” He tried to catch her eye but she was looking off to the distance, her fingers absentmindedly tracing his chest.  
“What about it?”  
“That it was one of the few moments in my life where I’ve been truly been happy. To be completely honest, with no lies, no deceit. That I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”  
She became very still. “Even if we are expelled from the Order?”  
He sat up, causing her to slide off him to also sit upright, pulling his cloak over herself to cover up. “Is that what you’re worried about?”  
She nodded “Ben, the academy is the only place where I’ve felt I had any meaning. Where I felt I had a family. After being so alone most of my life... I don’t want to lose everything again. I can’t.”  
He looked at her curiously. “Is it really the Jedi Order that gives you family? Finn? He’s like a brother to you. But he is nothing to do with the Order. Neither is Poe, who I may have interpreted why you were so close incorrectly,” she smiled at this, “but he is part of your family.”  
“And you?”  
He reached out to her, his fingertips grazing hers, her eyes trailing his movements. “I’ll stay by your side, with or without the Jedi binding us. If that’s what you want, anyway.”  
“Yes,” she said, her smile widening as she laced her fingers with his, “I think I should like that very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddd that's it. My first fanfiction completed. I hope everyone reading enjoyed it and are satisfied with the ending, it's been fun to write! I've seen on the previous chapter that people would be interested in continuations of this au, and I am more than willing (I have some ideas already but i'll see how it goes). I definitely plan on writing at least one new piece soon. Thank you everyone for your comments and support on this, it was highly appreciated and was what motivated me to continue.
> 
> Sidenote: I am aware Jaina and Jacen in the non-canon EU were Solo children, but since the canon has Ben solo and not Ben Skywalker, I thought I'd swap it around a bit ;)  
> Link to other Reylo piece (Harry Potter AU): http://archiveofourown.org/works/13811613


End file.
